Given Time Read online

  ‘Stunning!’ she said. After a thoughtful pause she added, ‘Business must be good.’

  It was a statement rather than a question, and I was pleased that she wasn’t fishing.

  ‘Yeah, I had a couple of valuable contracts so I thought I’d give myself a reward.’

  ‘Good for you! I always think you work far too hard for your clients.’

  I hadn’t realised she had noticed, and wondered aloud if I’d been complaining too much.

  ‘No, not at all,’ she assured me. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever heard you make a fuss, but you sometimes come into the pub at nine or ten at night saying you’ve just finished work.’

  I laughed. ‘That might just mean I started at seven or eight.’

  She joined in with a strident laugh of her own. ‘Yeah, right,’ she said.

  ‘Talking of work, are you on holiday?’ I asked.

  ‘No, I’m just throwing a sickie.’

  ‘Are you okay?’

  She laughed again. ‘Yeah, I’m fine. I just overslept and then I couldn’t be arsed to race about.’ She thought about it, and continued, ‘I’m such a dirty tart, I haven’t even had a shower yet,’ her voice loud enough for everyone in the café to hear.

  We carried on talking for another twenty minutes, and despite her dishevelment, I found myself increasingly attracted to her cheerful demeanour. I’d known and liked her for years, but there was a new emotion evolving, and I wondered if it was because she was single now that my feelings towards her were changing.

  My chain of thought was broken when Harriet abruptly stood up, and announced that she really ought to go home and get her filthy body washed. She thanked me for the coffee, even though she’d paid for it herself, and said that she had enjoyed catching up.

  I got up to leave too. ‘Yeah, it’s been fun. Maybe I can buy you dinner sometime.’

  She leaned over and kissed my cheek; she smelled deliciously of sleep and warm duvets. ‘You know I love you, Kee. But I’m not looking for another relationship right now.’

  Maybe it was the reference to Planet of the Apes that brought it to mind, but another movie popped into my head and I visualised Bill Murray’s character attempting to seduce Andie MacDowell’s, over and over again until he got it right. As I thought about it, I realised I’d talked to Harriet almost exclusively about my holiday. That was okay when my intention had been nothing more than a chat with a friend, but my motives had changed, and I could only hope for a better response if I paid more attention to her. I’d got nothing to lose, so I turned back an hour and met her again.

  Unlike Murray, I didn’t have to wait a full day before I could correct my mistakes, but each time I turned back time and tried again it ended the same way: with her saying that she wasn’t ready for a relationship. By the fifth attempt, I’d drunk so much coffee that my head was buzzing from the caffeine and I was no longer sure exactly what I was doing. Instead of risking another rejection straight away, I walked her home.

  At her front door she started to thank me, but before she could finish I pulled her into an embrace and kissed her. She responded eagerly for several seconds, but then she broke off abruptly and pushed me away.

  ‘Sorry, Kee. I adore you, but—’

  I joined in with the rest: ‘I’m not looking for a relationship right now.’

  ‘My hero,’ she said, and stroked my cheek before going in.

  Ten

  It felt like I’d passed the whole day with Harriet, but when I checked the time it was barely more than forty-five minutes since I’d left my flat to go shopping. I headed back that way now, feeling deflated and quite annoyed; I should have known the Groundhog Day thing would never work in real life. I was confused too because I was unsure if I should have given up so easily. I had never been good at pursuing relationships or reading women’s signals. To me, if a woman said she wasn’t interested that was what she meant and I would invariably back off. Yet I knew of men who would carry on chasing until they broke the woman down, and then go on to have perfect relationships with them.

  I thought about Harriet responding to my kiss, telling me that she adored me and stroking my cheek. What was that all about? Was she playing hard to get? Was I meant to try a bit harder? I just didn’t know.

  I stopped in my tracks. I could simply go and find out; if I got it wrong or made a fool of myself, I had the means to put it right.

  She opened the door a few inches and peered round from behind it. I could see that her arm was bare and I guessed she had undressed, ready for her shower. Unable to think of a reason for her to invite me in, I didn’t give her time to object and pushed past her into the flat.

  ‘What are you doing?’ she shouted. ‘You can’t come in.’

  She was still holding the door, and sought to shield my view of her with it, but I could see that she was in her underwear. I pulled the door hard away from her, and it slammed shut. I grabbed at her shoulders and attempted to kiss her again.

  She tried to push me away, and her voice got louder. ‘No, Kee, I told you. Get off me.’

  Her tone became belligerent while I struggled with her. She thumped at my chest and shouted louder still. ‘Stop it, Kee. This is not happening. Get out of my house.’

  I’d still got hold of her shoulders, and she carried on hitting me as I endeavoured to propel her towards her sofa, but she fell and landed on her backside, crying out as she hit the floor. I was on top of her immediately, straddling her and grabbing at her wrists to stop her fighting. No sooner had I pinned her down than she changed tack; her voice became soft and pleading. ‘Don’t do this, Kee. I’m begging you. You don’t want to hurt me, do you?’

  ‘No, of course not. You know you want this really.’ It was the first time I’d spoken since I’d pushed into her house and my voice had become guttural. I coughed and then attempted another kiss, but she turned her face away. I was no longer convinced she was playing hard to get, but neither was I sure that she wasn’t, so I pulled her wrists together in one hand and groped her breast through her bra.

  She was immediately angry again. ‘Get off me, Walsham. I mean it. Get off.’

  I’d gone past the point of self-control; I grabbed the front of her bra and pulled it up to her shoulders, exposing her breasts before rubbing and squeezing them roughly.

  ‘You bastard. You fucking, fucking bastard. I hate you!’ she yelled while she writhed and rolled, trying to break free, before attempting ineffectually to kick my back.

  I snatched at her knickers, yanking them hard away from her. The material must have cut into her flesh before giving way because she yelped and screamed for help as I pulled them free. She screamed again and again, but no one came to her aid.

  The moment I entered her she stopped. Her body went limp and she was suddenly quiet. She lay very still, glaring at me with loathing in her eyes; she was making sure I knew she wasn’t responding or enjoying it in any way. It should have been enough to stop me but I could no longer help myself.

  I thrust into her several times, but without a response from her I was losing my arousal; I tried moving faster and harder, yet still nothing happened for me. I remembered the situation with Shannon at the hotel and balled up my fist, but I couldn’t bring myself to hit Harriet. I was already feeling bad about what I was doing to her, even though I was too far gone to stop. I balled up my fist a second time, but still couldn’t do it, so I tried thrusting even faster. It made no difference, and I was beginning to lose my erection. In desperation, I made the fist again and crashed it into her face, stinging my knuckles as I made contact with her cheekbone. She screamed, her eyes filling with tears, before she turned her face away and sobbed into the carpet, but by then it was over; the instant my fist had connected, my erection had sprung back up and I had climaxed immediately.

  I pulled out, and stayed on my hands and knees above her as waves of guilt swept over me. ‘I’m so sorry, Harry. I really am,’ I whined.

  ‘Unbelievable,’ she whispered through the
tears, but then she was angry again and snarling at me. ‘You unbelievable, fucking bastard.’

  I couldn’t bear seeing her like this any longer; I had to put an end to her suffering, so I reached into my pocket and turned back time. She disappeared from under me and I was left staring at her carpet. I stayed there for a good five minutes, ashamed of what I’d done and not feeling any better for having undone it. Even though I knew Harriet was no longer aware of what had happened, it did nothing to lessen the remorse that gripped me. I had behaved monstrously and I felt awful.

  I got to my feet and tidied myself up before quietly letting myself out of her flat. In my penitent condition the last thing I wanted was to see or talk to anybody, but I still needed supplies, so I forced myself to go back towards the shops. On the way I saw Harriet coming from the opposite direction. I could barely bring myself to look at her, but when I did her face brightened.

  She greeted me warmly. ‘You look like you’ve been on holiday. Somewhere nice?’ she asked.

  Saturday morning found me on an early train to Birmingham. The day was overcast and chilly – in complete contrast to my spirits. My guilt had finally receded, though it hadn’t gone completely. After what seemed like an eternity of wrestling with my conscience, I’d told myself that Harriet didn’t know anything had happened so there was no harm done. In fact, for her, nothing had happened, but that hadn’t made it any easier for me to deal with. When I’d seen her in the street again, I’d made an excuse about being in a hurry and promised I’d tell her about my holiday the next time I saw her.

  ‘Okay, sweetheart,’ she said, ‘I’ll look forward to that.’

  I put those thoughts aside and concentrated on the day ahead, my mood lifting again. I was looking forward to seeing Drew and Amy. When I’d spoken to him on the phone, Drew had told me that with the money I’d given him, they had been able to secure the house they wanted and with a much smaller mortgage than they had anticipated. I’d expected him to be happy about his news, but he seemed more excited than I would have imagined, and I guessed there was something he wasn’t telling me. At any other time I might have pressed him, but I was too wrapped up in my eagerness to share my own news to question him any further about it.

  Drew answered the door with a big grin before I’d had a chance to knock, and I barely had time to say hello before Amy appeared from the kitchen. She ran along the hallway and launched herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck, her burnished, long brown hair enveloping my face as she kissed my cheek.

  ‘Thank you, Kee. You lovely, lovely man.’ She kissed me again.

  I turned to Drew, who was still grinning, and said, ‘I guess she’s pleased then.’

  ‘I think you could say that,’ he agreed. ‘We’ll take you to see the house later, but first we’ve got some other news.’

  Amy pulled away and held her left hand up to my face to show me an exquisite diamond solitaire ring that adorned her third finger. Now I understood the euphoria that was gripping them both, and the joy spread rapidly through me.

  ‘Oh, that’s brilliant!’ I grabbed my brother’s hand and shook it firmly, then pulled Amy into another hug and kissed her cheek. I stepped back and gazed into her beautiful, radiant face. ‘I’ve always wanted a sister, and I couldn’t have chosen a better one than you.’

  They sat hand in hand while they told me, over coffee, about their plans for their house and for their wedding; they hadn’t yet set a date, but they thought it would be sometime the next summer.

  They showed me the estate agents’ details for their new house and said they would take me to have a look at it after lunch.

  ‘Just the outside,’ Drew said. ‘We’ve been back to look at it twice, so we really can’t bother the current owners again.’

  ‘That’s fine. It looks really nice from the particulars.’ My own excitement rose again, and I couldn’t put it off any longer. ‘I’ve got some news for you too.’

  I’d planned to get Drew on his own to break the news, but now they were committed to each other it felt right to tell them both.

  I told them I’d won the lottery, and we went through the same scepticism and argument about me not playing it before Drew voiced the inevitable question. ‘How much did you win?’

  Amy slapped his leg and told him it was none of his business, but I could see from her eyes she was just as curious.

  Having taken time to think about it and come to the conclusion that I didn’t want to make any massive purchases, I’d decided to be more generous with my brother than before, but even though I didn’t need it, I still wasn’t comfortable giving him half of my winnings.

  ‘It’s fine, Amy. I was going to tell you anyway,’ I reassured her, ‘but I think you’d better brace yourselves.’

  They exchanged quizzical glances, as though they each thought the other might hold the answer, then they tightened the grip on their hands and gave me their full attention.

  ‘Just over forty million pounds,’ I lied.

  Their eyes widened and their mouths dropped open simultaneously. I couldn’t help laughing at the goldfish impressions.

  Amy recovered first. ‘That’s amazing, Kee. Congratulations, you lucky man.’

  ‘Yeah, well done, bro,’ Drew chipped in. ‘Any chance some of it is coming this way?’

  I wasn’t surprised that he had got straight to the point, but I wondered if it was Amy’s presence that had stopped him from demanding half of it.

  I couldn’t resist winding him up. ‘I’ve already given you four hundred thousand.’

  His face dropped and I could see the hurt beginning in his eyes. I glanced at Amy and saw that she had read me better.

  ‘But that’s just for my share of the flat. It’s not…’

  I held up my hands to stop him before he got any more upset. ‘And now,’ I said, pausing for effect, ‘I’m going to give you another twenty million.’

  I found myself looking into the fishbowl again while they stared at each other speechlessly. Again, it was Amy who was first to regain her composure.

  ‘You can’t do that, Kee. That’s far too generous…’

  Drew jumped in, nearly biting her head off. ‘Yes, he can. I’m his brother. Why wouldn’t he give us half?’

  I was relieved that he had said ‘us’ and not ‘me’. In that instant, I’d noticed the disquiet in Amy’s face, at both his greed and his snapping at her. If he had said ‘me’ it could have killed their relationship right there. Even then, he was on dangerously thin ice, so I jumped back in to try and save him.

  ‘Drew’s right, Amy. It’s only fair for me to share the money, but it’s not a question of fairness. Drew’s my brother, and I couldn’t be happier that you’re soon going to be my sister-in-law, so I want to give you two that much. We can call it an engagement present if you like.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ she asked, and her face brightened again. ‘I don’t know what to say. Thank you, Kee. Thank you so much.’ She got up and kissed my cheek again.

  ‘Yeah, thanks, bro. That’s brilliant!’ Drew added. His voice held a strange mixture of enthusiasm and distraction, so I suspected he was already planning what to spend it on.

  He confirmed my suspicion when he turned to Amy, his face alive like a child in a sweet shop. ‘We don’t need to get the mortgage now, and we can get a new kitchen straight away… Wait, do we still want to go through with this house? We could get something even better, and I can get a new car. Oh wow, I could get an F-Type – or a Ferrari. You can get a new car too, and some nice jewellery…’

  Amy’s patience snapped. ‘Drew, stop this. It’s embarrassing. Let’s take a few minutes to think about it.’

  ‘Yeah, but—’ he began.

  ‘Hang on, both of you,’ I said quietly. ‘You’re in shock, and what you’re doing is quite normal, but Amy’s right: you need time to think about it. Not just a few minutes, but at least a couple of weeks.’ I tried to remember as much of the advice that Gail, from the lottery, had given me, pa
rticularly about taking a holiday before making any major decisions, and relayed it to them as best I could.

  Then I added my own advice, based on what I’d worked out for myself. ‘The more stuff you have, the more you have to look after, and it would get to be a pain, especially if you have to employ people to take care of things for you. Sure, you want a nice home, but do you want something so expensive that you need security guards? And I’m not saying you shouldn’t buy your dream car, but before you do, work out how often you’ll use it. If you don’t need it all the time, there are firms that hire out prestige cars.’

  Drew’s response was unsurprising. ‘Yeah, but it’s not the same as having you own.’

  ‘Okay, that’s fine,’ I agreed. ‘All I’m saying is think about it first.’

  ‘If you hire them,’ Amy told him, ‘you could try out all sorts or cars.’ Her tone had softened again, and while Drew nodded at the new possibility, I was pleased to see they were holding hands once more.

  I told them about having a private bank account and gave them Matt’s details. I’d spoken to my account manager during the week and primed him to expect their call.

  It would take a couple of days to open and activate their account. I told them that Matt had said he was happy to come to Birmingham to sort it all out.

  They had still got the money I’d sent for the house, but they had put it in a savings account without instant access, so I said, ‘In the meantime, I can transfer some money into your current account so you can book a holiday.’

  ‘How much?’ Drew asked.

  ‘Shall we say a hundred thousand?’

  His excitement rose to a new level. ‘We should have a party to celebrate. We can get all the guys round tonight.’

  I was glad to see that Amy looked less than impressed by the idea. The thought of partying with a crowd of total strangers was equally unappealing to me.

  ‘We’ve got the engagement party in a couple of weeks,’ she said. ‘We could combine it with that.’